our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
