Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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