C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
