sarcasm needs its own font
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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