I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
