I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
