walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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