i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
