I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
