she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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