just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine