girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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