I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
