I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
