his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
