I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
