Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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