did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize