I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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