Small penises have feelings too.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
