Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
