i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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