Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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