I just cut my nipple shaving
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
