We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
