Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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