Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
