can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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