But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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