the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
