I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
