dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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