True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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