Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
