We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
