I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
