I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
