speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
