Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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