he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
