I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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