You work out of a Hotel?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
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I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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