I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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