He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Pooping to opera.
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