Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
