Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize