hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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