Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
