I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
