Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
