Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
