Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
