I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
