Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
