well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize