Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
