can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
