Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
