Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
