She went from zero to smokin in five shots
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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