Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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