Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
